Tuesday, June 08, 2010

Bill George: Red Hot Planet And Beyond. Part III.





After spending two years working on his web site Red Hot Planet, Bill George simply ended it without any sort of explanation. Which was unfathomable to my mind because of all the time and money George lavished on a project he truly believed would bring him the money and the fame he's been chasing in vain for over thirty years. The main disappointment for me was that the money I supposed to receive for my hard work was never to find it's way into my bank account.

Steve Vertlieb, in an interview for a web site called Thunder Child, grandly stated(probably in lofty,pear shaped tones)," The web site(Red Hot Planet)has fallen into a creative crevasse." My explanation is more blunt and to the point: Bill George became bored with Red Hot Planet and shoved it aside in order to pursue another pipe dream,er, I mean project. This has been a pattern for as long as I've know the putz: start something, grow tired of it and move on.

The arm chair psychologist in me thinks that deep down, George is afraid of success and when something he's involved in starts to gel or come to fruition, he quickly drops it and then develops something new to devote his money and energy on until the new project looks like it'll become successful;then the vicious cycle repeat itself. Or to be succinct: George does everything half assed because he's a half assed excuse for a human being. Oh well, I think it's as good an explanation as any.

Bill Georges next great idea was to publish a magazine which combined sports and women called Baltimore Flavor Magazine. First flaw: Bill George is one the least likely people you'll ever meet to be involved in any sport. Unless sitting at a computer for hours on end ever becomes one,then he 'll be able to enter The National Nerd Olympics. George can't even muster up enough physical energy to mow his own lawn; he hires someone else to do it for him. What a lazy f**k!

Yet, he felt eminently qualified to publish a sports magazine. Okay then. Whatever. Now here comes another fly into the ointment: the women interviewed and featured in Baltimore Flavor were currently starring in an up and coming low budget horror films. One issue(there were three in total)had an article on two bit filmmaker Rolfe Kanefsky and even had a two page pictorial of Kanefsky looking very much the director on the set of his latest tinker toy epic. Now, why would anyone with a tinge of common sense publish a two page photo of an overweight director wearing a baseball cap in a sports and women magazine? Now it had morphed into a sports,women and horror movie magazine.

When I did my interviews, Bill insisted I ask each actress what her favorite sport was in order to justify her inclusion in a sports magazine. I liken it to publishing a magazine about cats and then interviewing monster truck owners, but during the interview asking them if they owned a cat. George sincerely believed such editorial decisions would insure that his wonderful magazine flew off the shelves . The only way that would ever happen is if the magazine stand is outdoors and gets broadsided by a wind storm.

Welcome to Bill George's special little world, a place where his ideas are so original, so radically unique that everyone will excitedly jump on his latest bandwagon and embrace his dream without hesitation. This is how egotistical and arrogant the prick is; you'll love his idea because he thought of it.

Now here's the topper: He decided to distribute the first issue gratis without advertising. What? How was he going to make any money on this venture? This is where George's peculiar brand of logic comes into play; the following issues would contain ads and then the reader would be charged.(As you can see, George thought his latest brainstorm,more like a light drizzle if you ask me,was going to be highly profitable.)

Well,the second and the third issue had no advertising either and for reason unknown, all three issues contained in large boxes, ended up in his basement undistributed . Now if you do the math,each run of the magazine costs about five grand. So, George has approximately $15,000 worth of paper rotting in some dank corner not generating any money. Great business acumen, huh? Don't expect to see his picture on the cover of Entrepreneur magazine anytime in the near future,or ever for that matter.

However, all is not lost; if George ever runs out of toilet paper, he has boxes of it in his basement and it's called Baltimore Flavor Magazine. It's expensive toilet paper to be sure, but at least it'll end up serving some useful purpose.
To be continued....the final installment.(Whew)

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